#not the first time either

[autism-corner]

'our' genes??? alright kazuki we know youre gay

[hereforyourdispleasure]

What do you mean the administrator shut down my connection slayboss I simply need wifi 💀😭

[baekuras]

not my depressed ass managing to get up to go take a shower and wash my hair to get ready for work tomorrow and not having any hot water while it’s snowing outside

only reason my room is warm is because i havent let the warmth from yesterday out

rip guess i’ll look and smell like a disheveled weasel tomorrow

[bothsidesnow2000]

Intern at work talks to me like i’m stupid

[sweetlikesunflowersandhoney]

my mom gave me a burger she thought was vegan chicken but it was not, and now i have nausea

[gammija]

nothing personal but this kind of comment rlly exemplifies to me a disconnect between canon and popular fanon jmart characterization because they almost literally had this conversation in canon - except, their lines are swapped!

jon, for all his scared grouchiness, is a secret romantic, while martin, for all his forced optimism, is at his core a pragmatist

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

[midydoof]

soulmate marks are out, shitty drunken back-alley tattoos you forget you've gotten like 20 years ago are so in.

[shotmrmiller]

ghost getting himself a cute, soft girl he doesn't talk about much but is clearly obsessed with and price just thinks it's nice he's finally settled down, approves of the home he's made for himself, definitely approves of the one he's taken for himself.

soap asks kyle if he's seen you and he says, "yep. lovely bird he's got tucked away in her little dollhouse. makes great food, too." soap swears there's a subtle shift in his tone when he says "lovely", a hint of something deeper that flickers in his eyes for just a moment. soap simply sucks on his teeth, letting it slide. (although he knows that kyle's always been one to appreciate the good things in life.)

interest gnaws at him, a persistent itch he can't scratch. price likes you just fine, as does kyle. well what about him? he decides to bite the bullet and goes to simon with a knot between his brows, the corners of his lips tugged downwards. they've shared clothes, bullets, beds. if the other two got to meet you, why can't he?

"ya can come over for dinner on tonight. she'd 'ave my neck if she didn't formally meet ya anyway."

soap then asks, out of genuine curiosity more than anything else, if simon would have kept you in the dark from him hadn't he brought you up himself.

"ya meet 'er when i want ya to, boy, and not a moment before." the tone he takes is unmistakeable. his words are a command, not a suggestion, and soap instantly knows to not push further.

soap nods. "ah'll be there."

"course ya will. she'd be terribly disappointed otherwise."

yeah, he'd hate to have that.

soap sits in the living room, the soft glow of the lamp casting a warm light over the cozy place. with a full stomach and an unfastened belt, nursing a glass of kentucky. he can't remember the last time he ate that well or that much.

maybe it's the alcohol that loosens his tongue, or the fact that he wishes he also had a sweet little thing to keep at his side just like simon's doing with you now, but the thoughts he's been mulling over all evening since he first saw you tumble out of his mouth.

"while ah can attest to yer taste in sweethearts, can't say much about your alcohol. bourbon, LT?" he says, chest warm.

simon's arm tightens around your hips, fingers splayed possessively over your thigh. he shrugs, completely unbothered by the backhanded compliment. "can't be perfect in everythin', can we, sergeant?"

soap's cheeks burn furiously hot when you come to his defense with a smack of your palm onto simon's chest. "be nice to johnny. he's got a face that make up for some of his other flaws."

the teasing lilt in your voice unashamedly gets his southern blood pumping. he can't help it if certain things stir when someone as pretty as you look at him like that. soap swirls the amber liquid gently in the glass while keeping his limpid eyes on you, not even trying to hide the fact that his gaze hasn't wavered since your cheeky little comment.

you then whisper something in simon's ear, your cupped hand not even half the size of his head and soap has to rearrange himself from the outside when your teeth catch your bottom lip. simon looks up at you then, eyes heavy and half lidded, and a smirk plays at the corners of his mouth.

"'m not sure, love. you'll just 'ave to ask 'im yourself. go on."

you open that sweet mouth of yours, but simon cuts you off with a decisive wave of his hand. "no. you know how to ask for things."

your reaction to that is visceral, and you're on your knees faster than his alcohol-muddled brain can comprehend. don't look down 'er shirt, don't look down 'er shirt, don't-

"johnny, will you touch my pussy?"

he splutters at your question, completely taken aback, but it seems you're not done just yet.

"hands to yourself, sergeant. tha' not all."

you pout at simon, one that earns you a look that promises consequence, but do as he says.

"will you touch my pussy, johnny? pretty please?"

[oetscop]

oh yeah almsot had to call the cops on a customer. grown ass man fighting with everyone over PIE.

it was busy as hell all day so we literally sold out of both pies, and truck comes friday night so we couldnt do anything about it. this guy tries to order One (1) apple pie (among other things) and when my coworker said we didnt have it, he immediately gets combative. was saying shit like "theres no excuse for being out of them thats ridiculous@ LIKE?????? THERE IS A FUCKING EXCUSE WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN

he had our other coworker deal with him when he got to the window and i was like. tucked behind the ABS watching. dudes still going off and is swearing now and saying he shouldnt have to pay for the 2 quarter pounders he also got. and i was like telling him over and over like. dont pay him out. dont give him his food.

so he puts the change back and hands the guy back his $20 and like goes to close the window and tell him to leave and this dude had the audacity to be like. give me the food. and i had to chime in with "we gave you a full refund, you need to leave." and he was like FUCK YOU GUYS IM CALLING AND REPORTING YOU BLAH BLAH and i just went "okies have a good night ^_^"

if he didnt leave i wouldve had to call the cops lmao. still dont know what he expects corporate to do?? like brother we dont have pies. we cant give you something we dont have. corporates gonna laugh in your face 💀

[ghast1yghosts]

Steve Harrington 1000% watched (ie stared at) some pretty girl putting her curly hair into a bun in gym class—only for her to turn and around and it be, not a girl, but Eddie “the freak” Munson.

steve’s inner monologue: *man, who is that, she’s so pretty. look at that dark gorgeous curly hair—how haven’t i noticed this girl before. i wonder if she’s singl- oh my fucking god it’s eddie fucking goddamn munson.*

[eatingmarkerz]

rule card or whatevr

[stil-lindigo]

when worlds collide

[goosita]

professor xavier who treats you like a gentleman should. he holds doors for you, he walks with his hand politely at your lower back, but never quite touches you without permission. he tells you how lovely you look, gives you kind smiles in the halls and always makes sure to say “hello” in the mornings.

professor xavier who likes to drop off books at your door that he thinks you might enjoy, always leaving a little post it on them that says “from charles xx”. he loves to feed your imagination and your mind in general, endeared by the way your eyes light up when he watches you read a particularly interesting passage.

professor xavier who knows exactly how you like your tea or coffee, always kind enough to make a cup for you whenever he’s in the kitchen. he fills his own tea full of sugar, so much so that you’re certain you could stand a spoon up in it. you wonder if that’s what keeps him so sweet.

and then there’s charles.

charles who pins you to the door in his office, his hands holding yours on either side of your head. his palms are pressed to your own, fingers threaded through yours as he kisses you slow and deep. you can taste the sugar from his tea on his tongue, making your head swim.

charles who presses his firm thigh between your own, smirking against your mouth at the way you gasp into his kiss. he doesn’t need to tap into your mind to know that you want this; he can feel you grinding down on his leg, your hips rocking back and forth slightly.

charles who gets a little mouthy, a little patronizing as he watches you squirm. “pretty little thing,” he coos, lips pressing against your throat. “i think you’re getting close.” he knows, of course, that you are. you’ve been desperately grinding against his leg, your own thighs trembling now. when you fall over the edge and gasp out his name, he hums low in his chest. “so gorgeous, darling. look so gorgeous coming like this,” he murmurs.

professor charles xavier knows exactly how to treat you every time, it seems.

[wolfsplosion]

ermm hello chilaios nation

[akanemnon]

At least buy them dinner first before you lore dump all over the place

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